Take the following survey to determine whether the Collaborative Law process or Mediation is the right process for you and your spouse to use to divorce. This survey is suggested by Stuart Webb and Ronald Ousky in The Collaborative Way to Divorce (Hudson Street Press, 2006).

Indicate how much you agree or disagree with the statements below using the following numbering system:

1 strongly disagree, 2 disagree, 3 neutral (or doesn’t apply), 4 agree, 5 strongly agree.

1. My ability to achieve a successful outcome in the divorce will primarily depend on the decisions I make during the process.
2. In order achieve my most important goals, I am willing to let go of some smaller, short-term issues, even though it may be very to do so.
3. I am capable of making the emotional commitment necessary to achieve the best possible outcome.
4. I am not afraid of or intimidated by my spouse.
5. I am willing to try to see things from my spouse’s point of view in order to help achieve the best possible outcome.
6. I believe it is possible for my spouse and me to restore enough trust in each other to achieve a successful outcome.
7. I am willing to commit myself fully to resolving the issues through the Collaborative process (or Mediation) by working toward common interests rather than simply arguing in favor of my positions.
8. It is important to me that my spouse and I maintain a respectful and effective relationship after the divorce.
9. I have accepted the fact that this divorce is going to happen.
10. I believe that it is very important that our children maintain a strong, healthy relationship with both parents.

Score: > 30 likely that Collaborative Divorce or Mediation is a good fit (more so >40)

Score: 20-30 borderline

Score: < 20 likely that Collaborative Divorce or Mediation will be too frustrating

For a successful Collaborative Divorce or Mediation, circumstances such as physical and emotional abuse, addiction and untreated mental illness must be considered regardless of score.